i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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