Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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