If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
