Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
