just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
He felt like a one man threesome
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
