I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
