I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
