I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
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