I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
