Kareoke will never be a sober sport
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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