While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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