It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
