He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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