So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
