We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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