Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I came so hard my ears popped.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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