"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
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