I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
There r osticjed everywhere
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
whose ass print is on the piano?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Randomize
