I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
We need to rekindle our bromance
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Randomize
