Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Randomize
