My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
