Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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