i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
