Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
