So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Randomize
