why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
