i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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