I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
