Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
