do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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