So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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