if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
