Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
