wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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