She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
