so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
