Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
