My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
