She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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