would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
