Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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