I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
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