went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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