i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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