The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
