A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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