Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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