Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
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I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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