Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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