Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Randomize
