If i could tip my vagina, i would.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
