He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
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