Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
