He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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