I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
