I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
