So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
