Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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