Cold hands, warm shart.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
