it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
COCAINE IS GR8
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
