I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
