I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
