I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
