I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
he shaved USA in his pubs
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
